Jason N Jake's Home page
Please note that all the stories presented here are true only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.
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Legends Stories that have been passed down from generation to generation.
Quickies aka jokes
Jason & Jake were out fishing their favorite lake when a Funeral procession goes by on a nearby road. Jason stands up, takes off his hat, and puts it over his heart. After the procession passes by he sits back down and continues to fish. Jake looks at him and says, "That was a very classy thing to do!" Jason replies, " It's the least I could do we were married for 10 years."
Jason and Jake were out fishing in a rented boat and they found a great spot to fish. Unfortunately skiers kept flying by and as any good fisherman will tell you this is very bad for fishing. Jake annoyed as hell decided to put an end to the annoyance and picked up a rock that was in the boat and threw it at one of the skiers. He hit him square in the head knocking the guy out. The guy went under and after about five minutes Jake decided he'd better help. Jake jumped in the water and after a few seconds he put the guy into the boat and proceeded to give the guy mouth to mouth. After a few unsuccessful attempts Jake pulled back and said "Damn this guy has bad breath." Jason looked at Jake and commented "Are you sure the guy had skates on?"
Mike and Ronnie were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden! Immediately, Ronnie threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of
hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, Ronnie stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, Ronnie pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes sir," replied Ronnie. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."
Jason was out ice fishing but having no luck what so ever. He noticed that Ferg was just reeling them in one after another.
Jason walked over to Ferg and asked "Man you sure are doing good today what's you secret"
Ferg replied "Mmmmrrrggmmm"
Jason confused said "Sorry man I didn't understand a word you said."
Ferg just mumbled again "Mmmmrrrggmmm"
Jason becoming frustrated said "Look man if you don't want to tell me your secret just say so."
Ferg spit out the contents of his mouth and said "You have to keep the worms warm."
Mike had his brand new boat sitting at the dock. He started the engines and cast off the lines. Eager to try it out, he gave the boat the boat full gas, but nothing happened. He just sat there. He tried everything in the new boat manual, but the boat just wouldn't go.
Angry as hell, He got on his cell phone and called the seller. The seller showed up with two of his ace mechanics and they checked out the boat but couldn't find anything wrong. So they started her up cast off the lines, and gave her the gas , but the boat just sat there , water going everywhere. One of the ace mechanic decided to jump in the water and check out the hull. He looked at the prop and saw nothing unusual, so he stuck his head under the water to see if anything was wrong down there, after a couple seconds he came up laughing, and said, "I found the problem. It would have helped if you would have taken it off the trailer FIRST!!!!!!"
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk".